Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
