Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
