Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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