hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
