There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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