There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
