It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
