why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My bed smells like the plague
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
