he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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