my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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