It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
