he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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