Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize