i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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