someone threw a dead crab at me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize