Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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