Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
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