I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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