why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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