You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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