i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
