do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
