I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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