is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
