I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
