HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
