were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
