I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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