matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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