yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
