when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize