It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
