maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
