Nicole vs. Life
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
