Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
