Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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