Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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