Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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