WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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