I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
