it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
