Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How does one acquire holy water?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
