Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize