Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
