help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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