Do vagina's smell?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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