shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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