Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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