belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize