Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
