My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
