CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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