He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
