so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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