Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
