there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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