Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize