she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
