Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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