i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
