well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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