we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
