remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
